About Me

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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

My Blog List

Friday, July 1, 2016
I think this is probably going to be my last post. I just thought of my blog today and really felt like it deserves a farewell.

When I look back and read my old posts I feel like someone else had written them, I am not the same person at all.. it's like reading the diary of someone with whom I share few interests.. but not me..
I wonder why I needed to write about everything.. and right there I remember the things I care about or that leave any influence on me decreased sharply over the years, I think I can finally declare myself a nihilist.. though I am not depressed or anything, I just think life is pointless but we should try to enjoy it anyway..

I think I can also say I am in peace, I remember writing my first post on the religious and existential questions throbbing in my head, and right now it feels like the answers don't even matter anymore, does that make any sense?

I have grown so much.. grown out of this blog and away from my old tormented self.. always trying to get a hold of the truth.. I'd rather just relax.. enjoy art and books and songs and travelling and hope I eventually die without experiencing or witnessing too much pain. I can enjoy the little things now because I am not engrossed in big questions, I get sad sometimes because the people I love want to change me, but my solace is that we have little time on this planet and we should enjoy each other's company even if we had some problems.

I am thankful.. so thankful for my current career (if you can call it a career, I just sit around waiting for people to need an interpreter)
I am thankful for my family, my health, my hobbies, my friends, and the little space of freedom that I have created for myself and that I will keep defending.

Yup.. that's all I had to say in my last post. Thanks, blog, will probably not miss you, but thanks!



Monday, October 19, 2015
Sunday, October 11, 2015

Monday, September 21, 2015
Needless to say, the last couple of years were most miserable for me professionally, and while all that misery taught me so much more than the joy I had when I worked at jobs I actually liked, I still could not take it any longer, and I resigned last Sunday, because I am just too tired

This post is to remind myself why I resigned without really having a backup plan: I'm always feeling dumb, always hating what I do, always feeling like I want to be some place else, always feel guilty for getting everything wrong, always feel worthless because I firmly believe anyone on this planet can do this job better than I do it, I am constantly belittled and told off.. I lost my self-confidence and I am just sad

Now that I am applying to some companies to work as a freelance translator, I am immediately noticing how my confidence is surging again now that I am appreciated for the things I am good at

I am just so relieved to leave that poisonous environment, I am so glad I finally did it.. tomorrow is my last day and I am not gonna miss a thing.. just look at that shit-hole..


Tuesday, September 15, 2015
I have an incredible amount of work to do, therefore I shall write this post now.

I want to begin writing my bucket list, and will get back to this post and edit it whenever I think of something

- Swimming with a dolphin
- Getting high
- World tour
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