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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Friday, April 30, 2010
i've been sick all day,and didn't get out of bed until noon just when i started losing the feeling in my back.
i started thinking that maybe staying in bed was making me more sick and lazy..and more frustrated by the way..
everything sucks right now,but i woke up to the fact that i was letting myself frustrate before the real mess actually comes...y3ny 5alli ma2to la w2to LOL :P
i took a walk outside,it was sunset,and there was a line of clouds stretching in the sky like a neverending pink path...i felt like i needed a giant camera..one that could take a picture of the whole wide sky...the milky path of clouds...the orange-red lines behind the houses,the flowers in bloom,the gloomy willow tree and the birds performing their final dance before sunset..a camera that could record emotions,and keep the smells of the magical evening in a digital memory...
everything was litterally glittering..
and i had no such camera..that was sad,but it reminded me of something beautiful..there's something in the Japanese culture that's called
a Haiku is a small poem that is written with certain order in japanese,but it can be written in any other language.
a Haiku is a description of a scene,it's just like taking a picture of it,"Each Haiku must contain a kigo, a season word, which indicates in which season the Haiku is set. For example, cherry blossoms indicate spring, snow indicate winter, and mosquitoes indicate summer, but the season word isn't always that obvious".
i love that idea,and i think i would like to write one.
anyway,the signs were telling me to just shake it off and forget about it,it's spring like so3ad 7osny says :)

i also ran into this amazing song:

it's always sweet to discover a song ...enjoy ^_^
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010

humans are confusing creatures
what is it in their hearts that makes them feel something called "lonliness" ?
everytime i read about love,it appears to be a combination of hormones that the brain releases,chemicals nothing more...
everything around me actually proves it's mostly lust and temporary excitement..
but there is something else,something different,i can feel it in my heart,and no scince can detect it or prove it,but it's just there!
it's like believing in GOD,a while ago,i was having a hard time thinking about it..
everything i read and saw was telling me to doubt him,but my heart just wouldn't,i needed him,and he was there for me everytime,and no scientist in the world could convince me that the one who has been keeping me sane my whole life does not exist...

but what about love again?
is it true?is it out there?

who knows..
Sunday, April 25, 2010

aaaaaaaaaaaand the 100th post award goooooooooes to.....

"qasr al shawq"


i just love this romantic crap!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Friday, April 23, 2010
the "almost sunset" from the roof of our house
a cloud,and then the moon..really tiny,look carefully:)

this amazing painting was at "ma3rad al jaleiat" in JU
this girl is wearing all of the jordanian traditional costumes,it's beautiful!

this painting looks like someone's gradma,Toto said..how lovely!^_^

while i was waiting for a friend:

if you open the picture in its link and zoom in you will notice that there's a donkey behind the white truck,it was so strange..a donkey walking in the middle of the airport highway all by himself,he looked so sad and sick,he had empty spots in his skin,and the most misrable look in his eyes!:(
i still feel so sad for him,i've always loved donkeys,i remember when i was a little girl i used to cry secretly at night if i had seen a donkey being tortured(especially at the park)
poor things!

this is my 3 mounths old niece Meme!

a stareway to heaven:

my love for photography has gone way beyond admiring photos and commenting on them,so i'm saving for a camera,wish me luck:D
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The Chemistry of Love
There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love. Researchers are gradually learning more and more about the roles they play both when we are falling in love and when we're in long-term relationships. Of course, estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area. Without them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.
That initial giddiness that comes when we're first falling in love includes a racing
heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we're releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement. According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and well-known love researcher from Rutgers University, together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention. She also says, "The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature."

Researchers are using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to watch people's brains when they look at a photograph of their object of affection. According to Helen Fisher, a well-known love researcher and an anthropologist at Rutgers University, what they see in those scans during that "crazed, can't-think-of-anything-but stage of romance" -- the attraction stage -- is the biological drive to focus on one person. The scans showed increased
blood flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine -- associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.
Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealizing view that occurs in the attraction stage comes from researchers at University College London. They discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with
obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love "obsess" about their partner.


بركان آيسلندا: المارد الذي استيقظ ليفزع العالم! نتابع هذه الأيام أخبار آثار انفجار بركان آيسلاندا والسحابة البركانية التي نجمت عنه، لتثبت لنا جبال آيسلندا الجليدية أننا أضعف مما نتخيل! ففجأةً ودون سابق إنذار وعلى جزيرة متجمدة نائية شمال المحيط الأطلسي فوجئت أوروبا وفوجئ العالم بانفجار بركان يقع في قمة جبل يوجافجالاجوكول الجليدي في جنوب ايسلندا، لينفث هذا البركان على مدار الأيام الماضية سحابة رماد بركاني هائلة ارتفعت عشرات الكيلومترات لتغطي مساحات شاسعة من القارة العجوز، والنتيجة؟: إغلاق المجال الجوي الأوروبي وإصابة القارة العجوز بالشلل! تعطيل أكثر من 16,000 رحلة جوية! حتى الآن خسائر تفوق 300,000,000 دولار يومياً لشركات الطيران فقط! ملايين المسافرين العالقين في مطارات العالم!
يجتمع جمال الشفق القطبي الساحر مع حرارة نيران البركان القاتلة
صورة الرماد الفضائي كما يبدو من الفضاء وهو يغطي آيسلندا.
صورة عملية التفريغ الكهربي المصاحب لثوران البركان نيران وحمم ملتهبة + برق ورعد + دخان وظلام! = مشهد مرعب بكل ما في الكلمة من معنى!

صورة الرماد البركاني وهو يتصاعد إلى السماء..

هل تعلمون بالمناسبة أنه ومنذ عامين (في العام 2008 تحديداً) قام عالم البراكين المرموق د.فريستين سيغيمانسون بعمل دراسة حذر فيها من عودة هذا البركان إلى الثوران بسبب تأثيرات ظاهرة الاحتباس الحراري، لتثبت الأيام صدق كلامه بالفعل!
ومؤخراً أدلى د. سيغيمانسون بتصريح جديد قال فيه أن ما يحدث ليس سوى البداية!!
وختاماً بقي أن أشير إلى أنه وباستثناء د. سيغيمانسون وبعض العلماء الآخرين، يشكك عدد كبير من الخبراء في مدى خطورة بركان آيسلندا ويشبهون ما يحدث اليوم بما حدث في
انفلونزا الخنازير التي جعلت العالم يقف على قدم واحدة، لنكتشف بعدها أنها مجرد وهم كبير!
لذا يرى هؤلاء الخبراء أن قرار إغلاق المجال الجو الأوروبي كان مبالغاً فيه جداً وتسبب في إثارة ذعر كبير، خاصةً أنه لا توجد حتى الآن دراسات أكيدة عن حقيقة ما يحدث!
لكن على أي حال وكما قال الشاعر طرفة بن العبد منذ 1,500 عام:
ستبدي لك الأيام ما كنت جاهلاً .. ويأتيك بالأخبار من لم تزود!
عنوان الموضوع الأصلي:
Wednesday, April 21, 2010

who is not great at all,well..maybe in his own mind he was

this man represents a character that forms 90% of the men i knew in my life,he is a self-pitying-illusional-gloomy-drama queen guy,who thought he loved Daisy,but he didn't,he loved the idea of the precious princess,the luxurious king's daughter whom everyone wanted to be with,and he attached himself to her even after she was married only because she was something he couldn't get,and that hurt his manhood deeply.

it's funny that he actually thought the party rich girl would wait for him that long!

i just wanna grab him and say:"grow up!get over yourself!!be realistic!"

acting all self righteous and ideal he goes on imagining he was the love of her life(and that she loved him too) and that he will protect her from her husband..LOL

and what about that Daisy?she's just another pretty girl,the kind that gets what she wants without any effort,and popularity on the top of that...

and Nick who's acting like a god,so perfect and moral,while he was the one who encouraged the affair between Daisy and Jay,and never said anything to the police about Daisy being the real murderer of Myrtle...

nevertheless i loved the novel.

even though i hated each and every character in it, it was genius how the writer reflected a group of personalities that are repeated so often in life and that can be seen every day,but can't really be described as good as he did,also the corruption of that society,whose aspects we can see all around us.

i'm glad i was forced to read that book in my novel class.

Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear

Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall

too much beauty in the world...too little beauty in people!
love you JU!
Monday, April 19, 2010

my application is now complete :D

and i'm so proud of myself i handled everything alone,i don't need anyone

especially "men" who think girls shouldn't go to such places by themselves

oh..eat my shorts..

Sunday, April 18, 2010


yesterday i had a fight with someone because he's an a$$hole and a big fat stupid liar(who is not good at lying actually)..

and things eventually turned against me and i was the one to blame at the end...but that's not the point..

i was so mad and disgusted and shocked that i was not allowed to tell him he's a liar, that i needed anything to calm me down..i cannot remember the last time i was that mad..

so,i asked my lil sis. who is a 7shasheh to give me a cigarette

i wanted to see if it really helps calming one down..

so i smoked it..aaaaaaaaaaand..gosh! lol

it didn't,it was so disgustiong and pointless,i kept smoking it because i was expecting that something magical would happen or suddenly it would stop being so gross...but it didn't!and nothing magical happened..

and i coughed for half an hour after that,and felt really disgusting,as if i smelled,and my teeth felt different and there was an ugly taset in my throat...

i can never solve the mystery of :WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE SMOKE???!!!

it's just beyond me!

but still,it's an experience,and i like experiences,and i'm glad when my grandchildrien will ask me if ever tried it i would say :yes! :P
Saturday, April 17, 2010
this is the best movie ever.
Friday, April 16, 2010

i feel violated

i'd rather be an ugly old "3anes" raising 300 cats...i really do
Wednesday, April 14, 2010

dear god,
i trust your call,and i trust that all of this is a part of your plan for me.
and...and...no BUTs...
i tried everything i could,only YOU know what distance i went today...
i feel broken hearted,really i do..i wanted it so bad,and now i don't even get the chance to try out.
forgive me for complaining but i find it so strange the way it happened..

dear god,
i never really cared where i'm from,not once in my life did i wish i was this or that,but today it really felt bad to be a palestinian-jordanian...
to go throguh yellow and green cards...visas and authorisations and passports,and finally coming back with nothing while my friends got through with it in less than an hour...

dear god,
please help me through this!
i refuse to give up!
not going down easily...not this time!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

going with Toto and Rasha italiana to renew my passport tomorrow

dear lord,if this what's best for me please let it happen,otherwise i'm happy with whatever you want.
Monday, April 12, 2010

it's not about if i will get it
and it's definitly not about if my parents would let me go
it's about...do i really want it?
it's very soon,and they're saying today when exactly it's gonna be..
i think i want it..i'm bored,and studying abroad might give me the change i need in mentality..
remains the question:will i get it?hehe
i guess we'll find out,but for now i'm excited
so e63ajo el saf7ah hon!
Sunday, April 11, 2010

عن جد أنا عندي فضول والله و بكل صدق و بعيداً عن المحاضرات و العظات و مواضيع التعبير المفزلكة
تساؤل بريء و بتمنّى أي حدا بيمرق عهالمدوّنة التّعسة يجاوبني
كترانة تساؤلاتي هاليومين بس نادراً ما أسألها فعلياً

المهم هلأ:
الشباب اللي بيمسكوا تلفوناتهم في نص الليل و بيقرّروا يألفوا رقم تلفون
بيرنّوا عليه،اذا طلعت بنت،بيقرّروا يجنّنوا سماها،لا لشيء و لكن فقط للمتعة
أحلى نهفة انهم بيخترعوا قصص عجيبة،انو جد ايش بالنسبة؟؟؟؟

-عفواً مين معي؟
-مين معي؟؟
(سكرت الخط)

رجع رنّ:
-انتي بتعرفي مين أنا لتسكري الخط بوجهي
-لا و الله،مين حضرتك؟
-أنا رئيس المخابرات فلان الفلاني!
-و عم بنحقق بقضية مهمة،انتي الك فترة بيرن عليكي رقم أورانج؟
-لأ(شكيت بحالي للحظة)0
-طب انتي شو اسمك؟
-بتصور اذا رئيس المخابرات،سهل عليك تعرف باسم مين الخط!
-بأي جامعة انتي؟
(سكرت الخط)

التلفون ما هدي طول النهار،بالضبط بعد كل محاضرة كنت ألاقي 30 مكالمة
بالليل أعطيت لأخوي يردّ،بعد حوار في غاية البشاعة كلّه مسبّات و تهديد و شرشحة وعد أخوي انو ما يرد يرن مرة تانية!

اليوم واحد بيتصل قال شو بدي المهندسة رهف
انتي المهندسة رهف،ليش بتتهربي مني؟أنا أبو نضال أعطاني رقمك،بدك تضيعي عليّ الطلبية؟!
انو بحياة أمك؟؟

من وين هدول الناس بينبعوا؟وين أهاليهم عنهم؟ايش مالهم؟ايش مشكلتهم؟ايش بدهم؟؟
ايش أعمل معهم؟أكره ما علي أركض لأخوي زي الحرمة مهيضة الجناح عشان يغصبهم يحلّوا عن سماي
مش مستوعبة نهائياً

الدنيا مليانة بنات رخاص مرميّين بالشوارع،يلاحقوا بنات العالم و الناس عدورهم ليش؟

على فكرة أنا عم أيأس..عم أيأس

الدنيا بشعة كتير و بتحزّن

و الضفدع المعفّن عمرو ما بصير الأمير الشجاع
Saturday, April 10, 2010
yesterday we were invited to my brother's in laws' ranch in a town called "Ra'as Moneef" in Ajloun it was absolutly beautiful!we had so much fun,climbed mountains,picked flowers like girly girls hehe,we sat by the fire,it was a little bit cold but really charming area and so much fun! i took like a billion pictures,and my brother's fiance kept laughing at me for that,and she kept teasing me cause i was so afraid of bugs except for ladybugs of course!!<3>

this is my sister in law's niece,she didn't want me to take a pic of her,but i did hehe
she's so cute,and omg she is so smart it freaks me out sometimes!
this is my sister in law's naphiew,he looks like the kids from commercial doesn't he?mashallah!
every where we stepped foot in was covered with flowers of all kinds,it was really astonishing!

even the clouds were artistic that day!^_^


i'm looking farward to going again it was really a great day,and an awesome experience!^_^