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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Sunday, May 30, 2010

i know you have a boyfriend..
the whole world(thanks to your non stopping implications) knows that you have a boyfriend
and guess what?we don't care!
what are you trying to do?what are you trying to prove?
is having a boyfriend the achievements every girl should be longing to do?
do you think having a boyfriend adds something to your image making you more accepted or i dunno..more popular?
y3ny should we look up to you for having been liked buy a guy?ya slam...
and what a guy...a real piece of work!
grow up for god's sake!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
my niece has the ears of a cat!
nope i'm not kidding LOL!and worse...i just found out i have the same pointy ears too hahahaha

my sister found that out when she was investigating where her daughter got it from,so like aunt like niece i guess!!

here if you don't get the picture:
Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Monday, May 24, 2010

i met this Turkish girl the other day on facebook by chance,and she asked me to help her with her Spanish every once in a while..so today we were chatting,getting to know each other..

so she asked me where I'm from and i said:Jordan,do u know Jordan?
she said:yeah sure!Israel!
and i was like..umm...no..
and what about Palestine?she had no clue

how shocking!and how sad!i don't know how to describe how i felt...betrayed maybe(i don't know by whom!)and very offended even though it's not her fault
but how on earth did she get the impression that Jordan is Israel???god!I'm so mad

and it's not about the girl herself she was very apologetic and embarrassed when i told her what Jordan is..

it's about how other people are getting the image,it's about feeling afraid for my country,and god i wish i could stand up somewhere where everyone can hear me and tell them the truth!

this isn't like any other stereotype or prejudice...this is dangerous and has to be stopped..

and we should all try our best to change it..

PS i hope this girl is just a special case and other people in Turkey do not think like that!
Saturday, May 22, 2010

have you ever felt you were stuck at a phase of your life...a day that u could never get over...a memory that never had a conclusion(at least not in your mind)?
i don't think we need short memory loss to understand what it means to be trapped in a memory and to block everything beyond it,and never realize we're going in circles over and over again,thinking life would be waiting for us...but it's not!time waits for nobody,so break free before you wake up one day wondering who that oldy in the mirror is!
seize the day!;)

great movie,lovely Drew Barrimore!:)
Friday, May 21, 2010

it's just like you said,it's the well of god now and whatever he chooses will be the best!
but i really hope the best is us going together hehe :P

thank you for my cute Granada notebook!

PS i know..you think the teddy bears are too gay lol

Thursday, May 20, 2010

i wish i could be back to no worries,no thoughts and no important decisions that would affect something in my life or in other lives
i wish i could be back to waking up in the morning with the only thought of playing till i'm dead tired.
to go back to the feeling that i own the world and that i can control it it and change it with just throwing a tantrum!
to go back to playing with my food,getting my knees hurt by playing in the street all day long,secretly watching horror movies at night hoping my mom wouldn't wake up!
back to having my only fear of a monster that lives under my bed and another hiding in my closet!
back to that beautiful pure unquestionable ultimate faith in GOD!!!
back to being on the top of the world when buying new shiny shoes,and at the bottom when my favorite cartoon is over
to running away from everything just by pretending i have a cold
to feel the ultimate feeling of achievement when pressing the buttons of the elevator or tying my own shoes...
i wish i would be back to being fearless and strong towards new things!being completely happy with the way i look no matter what!
i just wish....i could be that child again!

why do we ever grow up???

(scat “bung, bung, bung, bung..........)
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (bung, bung, bung, bung)

Give him two lips like roses and clover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.

Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.(scat “bung, bung, bung, bung.….)
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
Give him the word that I'm not a rover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.

Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.(scat “bung, bung, bung, bung)
Mr. Sandman (male voice: “Yesss?) bring us a dream
Give him a pair of eyes with a “come-hither” gleam

Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like LiberaceMr

Sandman, someone to hold (someone to hold)
Would be so peachy before we're too old

So please turn on your magic beam
Mr Sandman, bring us, please, please, please
Mr Sandman, bring us a dream.(scat “bung, bung, bung, bung….)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Monday, May 17, 2010

i'm mad at everything and everyone
i'm mad at me

mad at life mostly!!

but i'm kinda little happy i'm seeing zahy wahbe in person tomorrow :)

but still...mad

PS i can't access my email,is that a sign??
Sunday, May 16, 2010

i knew it was too perfect to be true..i knew it
and even though i got what i wanted it still doesn't feel the same,it feels like it was given to me just so i wouldn't cry
it was UGLY!
but really...in what world could that happen?come on Sara wake up 7beebty,hay elly ajaky :)

as i was leaving i decided i didn't want to hear what anyone had to say,i was done with people.
so i put on my headsets and got on the bus,watched the people moving,talking yelling,cars roaring,breaking,horns going off...all soundless like an old mute film,only Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban chanting in my ears

i envied deaf people for a minute but i remembered my music

do u ever get tired of mixtures of emotions and wish u can have one pure feeling?just one that you can not deny or stop,good or bad...at least you know what it is
i had that on Thursday,it was strange but magical
i felt that eternal primitive old..old feeling of achievement!
i felt like Tom Hanks when he finally could make a fire by himself in "cast away"

i loved that feeling,and taking it away from me broke my heart
some people just don't think about others,they live in a planet where they're the only living creatures
i hate those people

i'm still determinant in my battle,but i'm hurt..and it'll take time to heal
Thursday, May 13, 2010

everyone who knows me,knows very well that i'm unstopable at three situations:mansaf,chocolate,and sleeping!
leaving mansaf and chocolate aside,sleeping is one of my hobbies(seriously),i normally get 10...some times 11 or 12 hours of sleep each day,but lately,something wrong got into me!i've been getting 3 hours of sleep a day at maximum for the past 7 days!i don't know why,but it's getting on my nerves,i just can't sleep!:(
and because of that i've started to have these headaches,and fall asleep at weird places!LOL
i don't think it's related to something psychological,i know the past week was horrible,but today was just PERFECT!it was one og these day that you see from outside of your mind...as if there was a camera keeping record of it from outside..it was wonderfull:)
but still...i can't sleep now!:/

pic's of the day:
my angel's lil feet:
the mansaf hadool's mom cooked for us(it's alot like my mommy's..delicious!) :

the sky:

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!!!!!!!

i'm so happy!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i can't say anything right now,but i will soon!!! :D
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
today was al yawm el 3elmy in the faculty of foreign languages,there were many activities like every year,but this year it was more organised and well done,it was almost perfect thanks to dr.ahlam...
many presentations,contests,songs...but one thing i loved was what my friends majd and rana did,it was a poem majd wrote,she read it on stage while rana danced to it..it was amazing,they are both so talented,each in her own way
and since my brother was a pain and called me while recording the thing,it is not complete,but this is the best part of it anyway
PS sorry for those who don't speak spanish,i will translate as soon as i take a copy of the poem from majd:)

Monday, May 10, 2010

Sunday, May 9, 2010
no they didn't tell us the results today:(
i don't know why,but it was delayed to tuseday or wednsday!:(
they really burst my bubble god damn it,but on the other hand i asked dr.7amadah and he said my interview was the best one!!!omg el 7mdellah!i just hope i did good in the written exam!
i know i'm probably not actually going but like i told dr. renad today..i just wanna prove something to myself:prove that i desearve it and that i can do it!and after that i don't care,what ever will be will be :p

but i just wanna tease 3ali a lil bit before i withdraw!!hehe
Saturday, May 8, 2010

i get bored so quickly that everytime i start something i get dead bored of it right in the middle,and i just leave it!

and that is how i end up having watched half movies,half soups,done half papers,and even baked half cakes!LOL

books are perhaps the only things i can finish till the end,i wasn't always like this i dunno what got into me:/
Thursday, May 6, 2010

my friends and i did a puppet show last year,it was so good and funny and everyone loved it,and we had so much fun
and although this week has been tense for all of us we enjoyed doing it all over again,it was a blast!and it was hillarious,the story was about the scholarship(based on real events hehe)
but the funnier thing was what's going on under the table,with us hiding there and moving the puppets,omg,i do not know how i dd'nt explode because i wanted to laugh so hard
first toto was supposed to say something and like repeat it during the play 4-5 times,and everytime she would forget rasha would poke her and she would go off:EL SIGUIENTE!!!
LOOOOOOOOOL it was like pressing a button!!
and then there was malakeh next to me,and i forgot to hold the mike for her coz she was like holding the puppet and the script at the same time,and she kept poking me,and i was like?:AISH?? and thene i remembered hu3 hu3 hu3
and then she had to move he puppet to the other end of the table,but she was so far that she had to lye down all over us to reach out,and none of us thought of holding the puppet for her until the last moment!!LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

this was my puppet...

and then there was a contest...i won thank you very much :P
and our senior students friends sang this song
it was amazing!!i can't believe they'll be gone by the end of this semister!!:(
especially Rasha ancha...but that's another topic i wanna discuss later..
anyway it was a nice day,i'm so glad this week is over!!
the results are on sunday by the way!
LOL i just said that but i simply can't believe it..
wish me luck!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010

yep,i did the interview today,god i was shaking so hard that i couldn't stand still when i got out!

but it was good...i think..

i guess we'll find out!

i'm leaving everything to god now,i did what i had to do,and may the best win!:P

Sunday, May 2, 2010
اذا أي حدا بدو يقرأ،رجاءً ما يفهمني غلط

بس أنا بصراحة عندي فضول،و حابة جواب لتساؤلي هاد،و مؤمنة 100 بال 100 انو الا ما يكون في اجابة
هلأ العدّة للمرأة بعد الطلاق أو وفاة الزوج و اللي بتلزم المرأة بعدم الخروج

لمدة 4أشهر تقريباً،شو الحكمة منها؟

اذا احترام الحياة الزوجية و انها انتهت،فهل المرأة ما بتقدر تقدّرها و تحترمها و بنفس الوقت تطلع من البيت؟

طيب أنا بعرف وحدة الها متزوجة 3 سنوات و عندها بنتين،هي و زوجها كانوا أعظم قصة حب بشوفها بحياتي،الله يرحمو توفّى بالسرطان قبل فترة،طبعاً هي انهارت حياتها

أول اشي استغربت انها كانت تطلع عادي،بس بعدين فكرت فيها:طب يعني ما هي لو تضل محبوسة بهالبيت 3 أشهر مع ذكريات زوجها بتحاصرها و بناتها اللي وحدة سنتين و حدة أكمن شهر معاها رح تنجن!!!لو أنا محلها بنجن

و هي طول عمرها امرأة عاملة،أفقها واسع و فهمانة و رائعة بشغلها

في كل الحالات الأحسن الها انها تلتهي فيه عشان تتحسن مشانها و مشان بناتها

ما بيمرّ يوم إلا و بتبكي عليه ألف مرة،رفيق دربها تركها لحالها بهالدنيا فجأة بدون سابق انذار مع بنتين صغار،و صبرت و احتسبت ماشالله عليها

بس ليش لازم تنحبس بين 4 حيطان؟؟

عن جد نفسي أعرف شو حكمة ربنا،أنا متأكدة انو يا الو حكمة يا اما ربنا بيسامح اللي متلها

الله أعلم

Saturday, May 1, 2010

yes! it's sunday...

yes! it's today...

yes! i'm totaly freaking out

calm down

calm down....

i'm not prepared!!:(

today my sisters came and spent the day with us.
with all that had changed,all that had collapsed in the past 5 years i never imagined we would feel the same as we did in the past,before they got married,before everyone was scattered through continents,before everything,when we were just girls with no worries,god! those were the days!
but today...and although their childrien made (the mother of all messes) in the house,but it felt like the past,the magic was there,and it was the 5 of us again being the super team we always were

i don't even wanna imagine where i would be without them!
thank you for the perfect day,thank you for the perfect years,you were always there for me,and even though i never say it to any of you,but i'm so greatful i have you...