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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

regardless of the incredible heat we go through all day long every single day,and the whole-hour-class we have to bare with,and the sun burns..sun burns-lines(which are worse especially the ones caused by Hijab)
regardless of the enormous size of information you have to take in such a short period because it's a short semester and regardless of having to have a class in the morning,seven hours break and then another class in the evening because there is NOTHING else to do!
all of this i can live with,but the thing i really hate.. is this memory loss,this constant feeling of chaos and confusion
this everyday identical routine and this magical way of losing track of everything and not finding any time to do something useful
i just can't explain it,it's like :
i open my eyes in the morning,go to uni,do everything automatically and then suddenly I'm checking my mail and it's 12:00 am and i have no idea what were the highlights of the day!!!!!
i HATE this ... I'm so disgusted and confused!
i miss winter i miss rain i miss mud i miss gol3a6 el sheta!:(

good thing this winter is gonna start soon cause I'm leaving to Granada :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010

i remember when i was a kid i used to ADORE her,every time she would come on TV i would stand there singing along every word,i knew her songs by heart!

and i remember i used to look at her and think:"this is the most beautiful person i have ever seen!"
this is what beauty looks like",and i was so sure!

so..what happened now?i look at people and things and i wonder,i can't decide what is and what isn't beautiful..simply because i'm lost between what i once thought and what i'm forced to think!

why should i consider some things beautiful and some things not?who's deciding for me?

do we have to be skinny tall and perfect to be beautiful?to be acceptable?
what if i decide i wanted to be just ugly?what if i was really ugly?should i be banned from living?

i اhave decided to bring back the pure ancient honest sense of beauty i once had as a little girl,and screw all of the people,magazines,commercial and movies that tell me i'm wrong

i think i'll be deciding for myself from now on

dear Majida,

i once thought you were the most gorgeous woman on earth

now you're just another ugly "one of them"

so i guess as i was tagged here i'm supposed to write about 6 secrets that noone knows about me..
it's not like i'm james bond or anything but i'm the type of person that never ever tells not under any pressure..
so the next things will probably be things most people don't know about me lol
sorry for cheating! :P

ok here we go:
1-i used to be "mal6asheh" as a kid,my classmates used to pull my hair and bully me all the time,ehe2 ehe2 :'(

2-i lost my apetite 2 years ago,don't know how and why,i rarely ever enjoy food.
3-i'm the only female in my family who does not and never will have this thing with dreams,my mom and sisters have these weird scary dreams that always come true
i dream about cartoons..
4-i'm scared of bugs,scared of hights,scared of the darkness,scared of needles..aaand that's about it LOL
5-i was accidentally named "Sara" because my dad forgot the name my mom told him to go put for me,which was Nour...i'm glad i'm not Nour!
6-now this is really weird but,i somehow managed to think,feel,and act like a child until i was 19,i was forced to stop playing with dolls when i was 14,and i still watch cartoons..practically i started thinking and acting like a grown up 3 years ago..go figure!

and that's about it!i have issues HAHAHA..

thanks for the tag Um Omar,i just wanna say it's a pleasure knowing you,you're very funny and streight farward,w allah y5alelek Omar w Beesan :))))

i'm handing it farward to you Evaluna...yala roooooooo7

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Saturday, June 19, 2010

just watched that movie,and absolutely loved it!
it's about a girl who starts dating a guy and working in one of these oprah-like-reality shows(sounds boring but it's not!)
and she really thinks this guy's the one,until she finds out he's been hiding so many things from her about his ex three girlfriends.
she starts digging it up and know more about it,to discover he's still in touch with one of them.
at last her friend the executive producer goes behind her back and makes this big show about her story with the guy and his three girlfriends!
and only then she admits to herself that he was never right for her,and that nither of them was honest to the other.
my favorite scene was when she left the show and went to her apartment to run into an old friend from college
she said to him:i've spent a life-time planning for a life-time,so what if you were what i have nbeen always planning for?what if you were the one?
and before he could say anything,his wife suddenly pops out of the car with her big pregnant belly and talks to him(it was so funny)
so staicy(that's the hero's name) tells him that every plan she's ever made for her life failed and she didn't know what to do,and he told her TO STOP MAKING PLANS,just let things happen and you might be surprised!
and then she asks him:-do you believe in happy endings?
he smiles at his wife in the car and says "yes"
and she laughs and says:isn't it funny that after all i've been through i still really believe in it with all my heart?and you know what?i WILL have a happy ending,even if it didn't include HIM,even if i didn't get the guy..or the two guys!

moral of the story:
-don't jump into it and think he's the one,his "wife" or just your "reason" might just pop out from somewhere!
-happy endings don't have to include the guy..or the 2,3,4.. guys ,happiness comes in different shapes and forms.
-when you are afraid of being honest to yourself or with him/her then it's because you're afraid to just admit that he/she is not the one
-some things are just better off as secrets,but if you catch the tip of the thread..oh you follow it!
Friday, June 18, 2010

it was so white and pure - she thought- as it helplessly laid there on the floor waiting for her.

three hours..only for three hours she was going wear it,it was big and beautiful,she had always dreamed of it,she knew it was the one the moment she caught sight of it standing behind the glass starring at people passing by.
it was made for her,it was perfect!

she quickly slipped in it ,it suited her perfectly,her mother shed tears,her sisters told her she looked like a princess.

as she stepped through the door and into the big hall her heart pounded so hard,there was everyone she ever knew,smiling at her,waving and whispering.

she held the white roses near her heart,she whispered to herself:"this is perfect!"

it was a fairytale scene,a passage from an ancient fantastic novel she once read in her childhood.

everything was glittering,the music was soft and angelic,and in the air tiny golden drops of light splashed from the cielings,nothing but perfect!

she sat surrounded by roses and smiles,and as she reached for his hand next to her she stared at him.

he was looking faintly handsome in his black suit,occasionaly smiling ..he was just...a HE.

and she looked back at the room full of people and thought:"NOT everything can be perfect!".

*short story min daftar 5arabeeshy,hope you like it,i'm not correcting my spelling w huh! :/

Thursday, June 17, 2010

new lable for my favorite songs,just so i'll keep a track of them lol

it's funny when a song is number one on your playlist and then a year later you can't even remember the words!

so here,i'm posting every song i love here so that i wouldn't forget about it

it will be really nice when it's a whole new song for me a year from now :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

not like HER of course LOL...but i just wanna fly,i wanna jump up and down,shake my booty,put my hands up in the air,sway like there's no tomorrow,and-surprisingly-not out of happiness.
i just wanna dance because i can,and because i feel like it,i don't wanna think about anything,i wanna be shallow,with no worries,naive,careless,selfish and short-sighted...
i've been trying to cry it out,but it's just not working,i think my eyes stopped producing tears due to the lack of use lol,so i decided i will have fun instead,shake it off and dance it away!
i wanna feel life running through my veins,i wanna enjoy the company of myself for a change,make peace all over again with my inner demons and angels,and whatever other people inside my head lol
i'm just a little tired and i need a vacation,a quick format to get me back on track.
those couple of days will be absolutely and completely dedicated for NOTHING...
Friday, June 11, 2010

i can't believe you're getting married!
it feels like yesterday we were best girlfriends at eighth grade fooling around,laughing our hearts out all the time..
you've always been the mature one,naturally because you didn't exactly have the easiest life,i've always admired you for growing up into the person you are in such cercumstances.
you will make a a perfect wife,great mother and one beautiful bride,that's for sure!

i'm just so misrable i won't be there for you when you celebrate the beginning of your new life
you know that if i had the choice i would totaly ditch my stupid brother's wedding and come to yours
love you so much!!!
HOW could you marry someone you don't know?really..I'm just asking with real authentic pure curiosity how people just throw themselves into marriages with people they've just met.
This is not about what if he turns out to be a jerk,and what if she turns out to be a slut..
this is about:"how the hell do you know these two characters will match???"
I mean,what if she's the kind of girl that's her daddy's baby and mommy's favorite,can't fry an egg,and all of a sudden she marries a guy who thinks women were made to cook,clean and breed?(true story)
I'm not against our traditions,and I'm definitely not with the "dating" method,but honestly...what the hell?
no wonder we're sad angry people,no wonder we are a shattered society,and no wonder there's just no love anymore.
One thing I do know...I owe my children a PERFECT father whom I will love and cherish with all my heart,who would be a great dad to them,who would love me dearly and honestly,I owe them an example of a true happy family,and a role model to follow..and I'm not willing to pick anyone who would knock my door with money and flowers and suggest we live together forever.
if not,then to hell with this,I'd rather be a 3anes.

every time i see this i feel older,i feel exactly 62 years old,
the picture talks for itself,but what hurts the most is when you run a normal search about a completely irrelevant thing and you find it,and you realize the wound is so old and big that it has become part of our everyday life..not a big part,not a sad part...just a part like any other,something we could eat with our food,drink with our water,sleep on at night..and that is just heart breaking
we should look at this picture more often...think about it more often,remind ourselves that this cancer will heal someday and we should never ever learn to live with it!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

you know what annoys me the most?
you know what hits on my nerves??makes me just wanna torture little kitties and strangle baby birds?
those gloomy sad self centered people who really live inside their small worlds where everything is negative and bad!
life hates them!god is after them with his punishments or tests or whatever!
nothing ever works out for them,they live in misery,they have "bad luck"
they regret all of their past actions,they can't find "true love"
they are always decieved or misled or hit with a bus by others!!
and at the end of the day they can't get any work done because they were too busy whining,self pitying and feeling sorry for themselves
seriously,everything is not about you people!grow up!this is life and if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen!
noone said it would be easy or fun all the time,but this selfishness and this inside-box thinking won't get you nowhere
get off my back,take your negativity with you and go away!

this is the funniest thing i've ever seen!!!

it's just so stupidly hillarious..ya'll gotta see it!!

warning..will get you rolling on the floor laughing!

Monday, June 7, 2010

toto posted these photos from her trip to spain on facebook
i was wondering while going through them over and over again
how will my eyes witness all of this beauty in every single detail??!!
my heart will explode with amazement!

why do we have this thing..this need to follow men??
why do we have this itch to be attached to them?
i have a question..do men have that "thing" too?
it's really annoying i mean sometimes,it's just a hopless case,there's absolutly nothing you can do,or sometimes he isn't aware of the whole crush!
and yet we follow that dumb instict and hang our hearts with a teeny tiny thread of hope,waiting for...nothing actullay,just the adventure of unleashing our emotions for once...
i feel stupid :/
dear god,i totaly understand you have reasons for making me a woman but sometimes i just wish i wasn't ..

i'm totaly gonna regret posting this LOL
but i'm not deleting it,i really wanna see what happens next :).
Saturday, June 5, 2010

wouldn't that have been just magical?!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010
i just love this video,it's simple...how can i NOT believe??
Tuesday, June 1, 2010

to you dear Rachel!it has been wonderful knowing you,and very enlighteneing indeed!!hehe

but i seriously will miss you!and i'm surprised i will,i never thought i'd really be friends with someone THAT different,but i did :)

i'm sorry for being such a horrible person and judging you at first,you turned out to be a sweetheart!

an open minded experienced wise very smart person at the age of only 21!

i'm happy i could answer some of your questions,and those you still have i will dig for..

as for my questions then let's just say it was a very intresting cultural exchange LOL

i will never forget you! ;)