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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I admit it

These thoughts keep popping in my head,unwillingly and insistingly!

So many questions in my mind and I'm afraid to ask,I'm afraid if I open that door...I will never come back,so I'm keeping it locked and secured,I know everyone changes..but what if I just don't want to?

Cause God knows that if I open that door,I will lose my inner peace forever.

Couple of poems by the great Salah Jaheen stopped me today:

خرج ابن آدم من العدم قلت : ياه 
رجع ابن آدم للعدم قلت : ياه
تراب بيحيا ... وحي بيصير تراب
الأصل هو الموت و الا الحياه ؟
عجبي !!!

ياما صادفت صحاب و ما صاحبتهمش
و كاسات خمور و شراب و ما شربتهمش
أندم علي الفرص اللي انا سبتهم
و الا علي الفرص اللي ما سبتهمش


hamdanism said...

Ask bravely, seek the answer objectively and continuously. This is the beginning of a purposeful happy life :)

Doomish said...

Define inner peace?
Just to be sure, you are talking about doubt about God/religion? I'm confused

Rain said...

That's the thing,I don't think it'll be a happy life.

Rain said...

It is not about the existence of God,there's nothing in the world that can convince me he does not exist.
It is about our relationship with him as humans,it is about RELIGION,it's not about the عقيدةas much as it's about the شريعة

If this is to be doubted-everything I ever believed was chosen for me to do or to "practice"- then my whole relationship with god will be shaken!
My inner peace comes mainly of my relationship with god...me trusting him is what gives me balance and keeps me sane..me knowing that he has the best plans for me keeps me safe and assured,when that trust is weakened my inner peace will be lost.

Doomish said...

"That's the thing,I don't think it'll be a happy life."
Rainzo, what's up?

Bullet said...

It's now 3;12 a.m. and when I read ur post, dunno sth in my heart was touched !
The lyrics u picked are so so ya3ne mish 3arfeh a2wsofhoum !
Dont hesitate to ask whatever you want and that may help to " open that door "! and believe me once u see a tender light touches your heart , you will ask more and more cuz that light will makes you see clearly and walk in the guide of it (:

Rain said...

Nothing is "up" yet,I'm just trying not to think about it right now :)

I wish it was that easy sweetie,it is just too much for me to handle at least at this time of my life,I will try to take baby steps into the process en sha Allah.
Hugs and kisses!