About Me

My photo
I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

My Blog List

Sunday, October 14, 2012
I've been thinking about this. What is patriotism? what is the psychological definition and background of this feeling? why would I be a patriot, why would I die for my country? 
Is it a mere feeling of belonging? to what? to a piece of land squeezed between invisible lines surrounding it? if so, then I find it ridiculous, because these lines were drawn by some people to achieve some interests...or maybe randomly.

 Is it a feeling of belonging to people, environment, and certain things you got used to? if so, then you would have felt the same way about a completely different country if you had been born and raised in it, rights?

And why would I belong to my country? as a Palestinian-Jordanian I was told my whole life that I would never be a true Jordanian, that I would lose my opportunities to people who don't deserve them just because they are "native" Jordanians. What did my country ever give me? as a grown up now I see that my country (in its definition as a government, entity, system..) takes away things but it never gives.. and I talk about it in this sense because as I said I find loving my country as a group of people or a land an unreasonable feeling.

My whole life I used to say I love Jordan and would do anything for it, but now that I see and feel this ugly injustice everywhere I feel like I loathe it and wish I would live some place else. I wish I could have a better country that would give me my rights. I wish I could at least live in a country where I can demand my rights without being called a traitor and told to leave if I don't like it here...and by who? people just like me!!
I finally realized after all those years that I hate my country and don't want to live in it. I may be attached to some places and people but I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with what is so called patriotism. I will not belong to a country that does not belong to me.