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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Tuesday, September 24, 2013
سبق وحكيت عن متلازمة العروس، واليوم بقدملكم نظرية أخرى ألا وهي متلازمة البنت المثقفة
عن جد عن جد ما بعرف شو سبب ومنشأ هاي الظاهرة، بس في بنات فجأة وفي لحظة من لحظات حياتهم بيقرروا يعيشوا دور البنت الفهمانة اللي عايشة صراعات وجودية وقضايا كبيرة وفي براسها أكتر من 5 أفكار.. صدق أو لا تصدق
وبصراحة اللي بيقهر إنهم هدول البنات عادة بيكونوا فافيات وملفلفات ببلاستيك من لما انولدوا لدرجة إنهم مش شايفين الدنيا عحقيقتها وبيعطفوا عالفقراء من باب "يا حرام هدول ما عندهم فرابتشينو بكريما الشوكلا!!"1
أعراض المرض بتعملي سرطان أحيانا.. مثلاً البنت المصابة بتقرر إنها بتحب القراءة، وبتبلش تكتب ريفيو لكل كتاب "بتقرأو" ومعظمها بتكون الأسود يليق بك أو توايلايت، لا وبتبلش تكتب عربي فصحى.. منشان دينكم حلوا عن العربي بيكفيه اللي فيه، يختي اكتبي بالانجليزي اكتبي بالسنسكريتي بس سيبي أم العربي بحالو!!ا
قولوا لسة القراءة بتنبلع، لو تشوفوا لما فجأة تقرر إنها شاعرة، بتعبي الفيسبوك سطور أقل ما يقال عنها إنها قطع براز مرتبة عشكل كلمات.. جد بصير بدي أستفرغ من الأخطاء المروّعة اللي بشوفها
المشاعر المزيفة والتعابير المبتذلة ووصف المطر وهو بيشتّي عليها بس دونا عن باقي الناس وتجاربها المشوقة والشاعرية وهي بتربط رباط بوطها وعلاقتها السحرية مع الحيوانات والطبيعة وتطوعها مع المجموعات الخيرية.. كل هاد موثق في صور وستاتسات متلاحقة ومكتوبة بسذاجة مهولة
البروفايل بيكتشر بتصير صورتها وهي دايرة وجهها وبتطلع عجبل او بحر، والكفر بيكتشر دعوة لندوة مناقشة أو توقيع كتابها الجديد "الحياة والحب والربيع"1
هي الأميرة اللي بيطير شعرها مع الهوا وبتحارب الصعاب بمصاري باباها وهيك
وبصير شغلها أو أي اشي بتعملو مهمة إلهية بتخلي العالم أحسن كل يوم، ويا حبيبي لما تناقش القضايا الاجتماعية، تتلخص فلسفتها الفكرية ب: يا الله ليش هيكا زناخة
وبس هيك يلا باي أنا رايحة أتأمل المطر وأصير شاعرة ومصورة وناقدة وفنانة وقديسة
^_^


Thursday, September 19, 2013
Last night and after an EXTREMELY crowded engagement party that made me partially deaf, Mohammed and I headed to our messy and still somewhat shapeless home (YES OUR HOME!) armed with Shawarma and Shaneenah. We sat there eating and talking, and I suddenly and so simply felt like I was home.. it was peaceful, comfortable, warm, and really a lot like us.. I felt like I was home and that there is no need to leave.. you know that feeling?

I love my new home :)

22 days..
Saturday, September 14, 2013
I know I should not let this get to me but somehow I do.. As if the pressure of this gigantic new step is not enough for me.. everyone is adding pressure in their own different ways! I know they don't mean it and they all just want the best for me, but right now I am wishing I can skip this remaining month and just go to my honeymoon while everything has magically passed along. And please don't tell me I am gonna miss these days! I will miss living with my family and all the other details but I will not miss ALL PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO ABOUT EVERY FREAKIN' THING!
Don't get that dress, go to that stylist, do the curtains this way like I did, I don't like this, this is not pretty enough, it is not good enough, don't, wait, hurry... 
Some may not believe it but I hate being the center of attention, especially that I am constantly evaluated during that.. aaand the money is a completely different story. do not get me started!

Speaking of the devil, I was thinking the other day and I decided that I do not wanna be rich.. I mean I do not believe people who say that money cannot buy happiness..it does to a certain level in my opinion, but I think that I always wanna be at least a bit poor.. I want to want things badly and not be able to have all of them, you know? what does it mean if you can get just any car you pick or like? I think eventually it stops being a big deal and you don't really feel thrilled about it, that's why I don't wanna be rich.. I wanna be able to enjoy the moments where I get something really nice that I've wanted for a while. But what does this have to do with anything anyway..

So back to the wedding, I picked out the dress, booked the salon, and pretty much got the biggest things done. My house is super cute and I have many ideas and plans for decorating it :) I want to enlarge some of the photos I took that I am proud of and hang them there, and I have lots of other ideas.. 

Oh God, can I sleep and wake up after this is all over?

Thursday, September 12, 2013
Two years of passion, laughter, connection, conversation, fun, amazement, serenity, and lots and lots of love. Thank you!

Sunday, September 8, 2013
قوم نحرق هالمدينة ونعمر واحدة أشرف

قوم ننسى هالزمان ونحلم زمن ألطف

مازالك بلا شىء ما فيك تخسر شىء
وأنا مليت من عشرة نفسى
كان بدى غير العالم مش عارف كيف العالم غيرنى
كان بدى احمل السماء وهلأ أنجق حامل نفسى
قول اننى منيح
قول اننى منيح




Edit: it is even better live:

Sunday, September 1, 2013
As Toto pointed out yesterday, I admit that I have lost faith in humanity. For a while now I have hated people so much.. I have been so mad, everything around me seems so ugly, people are closed, cruel, rude, stupid, brutal, evil.. everywhere I look I see dysfunctional societies or worse.. war. I keep thinking of a line from The Green Mile saying that all the ugliness in the world is like pieces of glass in my head all the time.. and "I'm tired of people being ugly to each other."

But that is not the point of my post today. Thankfully, at times I find some things that restore my faith in humanity, they make me smile like I haven't in a long time, and at times they make me cry, but in a good way.
One of these little things is a page on Facebook called Humans of New York, and even though I have never been to New York and perhaps I never will, I love to look at this page and read people's comments and what they have to say about their lives and about life in general.. it revives my faith in this world.. some people are still pure, you know? Gifted children, wise old women, sweet and polite young men, it is just a pleasure to look at their faces and get to know them.

Toto and her friend Nawaf started a page that is inspired by Humans of New York under the name Wast al-Balad, and I am sure it is going to be just as great, if not better. Visit it and I promise it will put a smile on your face.. and maybe restore your faith in humanity!