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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Yesterday I was driving in Medina street, and the traffic jam was unbearable even though it was not anywhere near the rush hour. My car crawled slowly through the street until the reason behind the jam was visible and right in front of me, a car had hit another car from the back, the two cars, and a third one, were parked on the left lane. The damage was not grave, and a woman and a man, who were clearly the ones who had the accident, were standing by their cars chatting and laughing.

You see, there are many things that are wrong with us, we are what we are because of so many reasons, but I genuinely think that this is the core of our problems: Selfishness. People are simply so selfish they cannot see beyond their noses, they live in their teeny tiny bubbles and think that only THEY matter. They don't even THINK that they are getting in the way of others. That man and that woman were making one of the busiest streets in Amman a hell for people and they were simply standing there on the left lane and chatting. Was it really that hard to park on the right like sane people would? did they think for a second about the situation around them?

When I saw them I wasn't mad, I was overwhelmed with sadness and disappointment, why should I live in this horrific city and this horrific country? when am I gonna leave this shithole that we call home?
THIS is what's wrong with us: We lack the most basic principles of citizenship, loyalty, and civilization. THIS is what is wrong with us: We think we love our country but we only love ourselves. This is what is wrong with us: We are a herd of sheep that has no real values, and I have to live here..
I haven't been reading for a while and it was really unlike me. Every time I started reading a book I wouldn't finish it, and I would just be too lazy all the time. On my last birthday I received a tablet as a gift from my husband, and it had such a magical effect on me, I immediately started downloading ebooks and reading constantly like I used to when I was a teenager, and it is so strange because I used to HATE ebooks and think I would never ever betray my oldest and best friends, real books, but I did, and I know it sounds so silly but I feel bad, I remember how I used to sleep holding a book, and how I used to spend as much time as I can at the school library because books just smell amazing,and how I was the weird kid at school and in my family for always having my face buried in a book, and how my mom would be yelling and talking to me and I didn't have the slightest clue because I was so engrossed in my book, I was in a different world.
I heart my new tablet, and it is really helping me get back on track, but it's cold and it doesn't smell like autumn and you can't put little funny notes and doodles on it and you can't put dried petals inside it
BUT, it lights in the dark, it doesn't bother me trying to flip the pages while I'm lying down, and it's one books that is FULL of other books. I have 50 books in my handbag right now and that ain't such a bad thing at the end..
Now reading: Million Little Pieces, and Ten Days in A Madhouse