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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Sunday, August 23, 2015
Last week my boss for the past 4 months or so finally packed her bags and went back home. She resigned, but even if she did not I don't think the people in charge would have kept her any longer in her position. She is incompetent, rude, paranoid, disrespectful, condescending, unprofessional, inconsiderate, and most importantly a liar who would not hesitate to harm anyone if she gets the chance. I PROMISE I am saying this with complete neutrality and objectiveness, I could not be more honest, my feelings of pure loath and disgust toward her have nothing to do with my said judgement and opinion.
However, what I am about to say next is not one bit objective, and has nothing to do with her lack of competence as a boss.Today I came to work feeling comfortable and at ease knowing that she is not there, and I began to think that I have never felt that way about anyone my entire life: Being SO happy that someone had just disappeared from my life. And all of a sudden I realized that I don't hate her on a professional level, I don't hate her because she was making the job that I already dislike much harder for me, no, I don't care about work enough to hate someone for it, I hate her on a personal level.
Why? she is everything I don't want to be when I grow older: this white self-indulgent selfish lady in her 50's feeling sorry for herself the whole time, wining about everything, being a bitch to people she doesn't even know, being inconsiderate and insensitive to everyone because she is busy with her own self-pity party.

I am so terrified of ending up like her. Lately I have had some problems in my life and I haven't been exactly happy, and I keep thinking that I may have hurt someone because I am too busy with my sob stories, and when you get older you just get worse at that for some reason, what if I end up like that? I am not a people's person (to say the least) but NOTHING justifies being an asshole to everyone. So this is a reminder for me to stop wining and try to be nicer to others. When I am 50, I want to be kind, wise, smart, and patient, not bitter, winy, and poisonous.