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I long for freedom, and when I get it, I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I will surely be happy.

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Sunday, September 6, 2015
I don't want children. I think I've finally made a decision once and for all. For years I've wondered if I will ever want them or if I'll feel the need to be a mother, and I never did. I tried to pretend, but it just didn't happen.

If I have to explain the reasons, which I don't find necessary, I actually think people who DO want children are the ones who should justify themselves since they are the ones with the decision affecting other people. So if I had to explain my reason, it would be as simple as the fact that I do not feel affection for children, I never understood this magic "motherly instinct" that everyone speaks of, I never felt the need to be a mom.. the only feeling I had toward being a mom was utter horror.

And if I had to elaborate and give a more outlined idea of what I feel, I'd say that I do not want to dedicate my whole life for a child, I cannot see myself running after a kid all day, I cannot imagine giving up my precious alone time,my hobbies, my freedom, and half of my sleeping hours for a kid. I think if I do have a kid I will hate it for taking all my time.

Yes you can call me selfish, I don''t really care. I think it would also be selfish to have a child (actually force it to exist) and then force it to think and act like you. Who says you're right anyway?

I feel so relieved just saying this. I love me ^_^